Standard edition player here. I've never been good. Like ever. I'll find amazing weapons off dead players during scav runs, extract and give them to my PMC, load up a raid and die with my brand new gun before ever firing a shot. I would be furious, internally screaming obscenities in my head and rethinking every life choice I've ever made, but thankfully this doesn't bother me anymore. There's so many things about this game that would drive me insane but I've come to the realization that in fact my reactions were the insane part about it.
The players that kill me without me ever seeing them? They are obviously WAY better than me. No point being upset that someone spotted me while I was running around like an idiot.
That shiny gun I just mentioned that I never even got to shoot? Who cares. If I got lucky enough to find it before, I can definitely find another one somewhere else (plus the flea market now helps with finding cool guns).
Still dying in a firefight while wearing decent armor and a helmet? That armor's not meant to absorb every single shot and make you a walking juggernaut. It's meant to give you a fighting chance if someone gets the drop on you.
Can't complete that quest? Yeah, it sucks. I still do get upset when I dies with quest items in my inventory I'll admit. But hey, all of your progress will be wiped eventually so quest completion becomes the least important factor IMO. Yes leveling up traders is nice, but being able to keep calm and stand up for yourself against a 5 man squad is much more needed than for you to deliver those documents to the factory so you can get that AK74u.
For me, it all really comes down to knowing my place in this game. I'm a dumb little PMC sheep in a raid full of starving bone vampires. Dying sucks, but take each death as a learning experience. Chances are when you get sniped by someone, you still hear where the shot came from. Now you'll be more careful next time around and maybe look up at those rocks on the hill.
If anyone has other tips or advice on how to not hate this game fro being unforgiving, let me hear it!