4Game

I find myself dazed and lethargic as I pull my covers off my limp body. My phone from across the room erupts in a cacophony of distinguishable melody. I lay still, and watch my phone vibrate off my desk illuminating my rooms ceiling as it lays face up on the carpet. As I pull myself upright and swing my legs around and over my bed frame, I try to connect the dots and count how many hours have passed. I shuffle slowly towards the opposite side of the room, removing the bog of crust in my eyes. First the left, then the right. Fumbling my phone, I turn off the alarm and take note of the time: 1:00 AM PST, October 10, 2020. “This is it”, I mutter to myself its “now or never”. As my PC fans swirl, and the comforting illumination of RGB captivates my gaze, I am met with my cherished TSM desktop screensaver.

As I gain coordination, I boot up Discord and jump into a packed lobby with my long-time friend group. “Your late!” one snaps. Others interject with indistinguishable banter questioning the point of what were doing. I remain silent, as I open Twitch. The clicks of my Ducky one 2 mini distract me from the building pressure in my stomach. My eyes widen, as I fixate on the League of Legends viewer count on Day 7 of Worlds 2020 group stage. My closest friend interjects: “I hope you believe in miracles.” I quickly hush him as Doublelift exclaims in a featured bit: “I know that we can play so much better, if we can just step up a little bit, I’m pretty confident we will 3-0. The first game of the day always sets the tone.” As I bite my lip, the rest becomes a blur. Twenty-five minutes had elapsed, and I feel empty. Even the pressure in my stomach an hour prior was more comforting. TSM had been eliminated from Worlds. Some of my friends are quick to laugh, others apologize, and I am quickly left alone in Discord. As I sit in silence, the once deafening TSM! TSM! chants that my friends and I participated in felt pointless.

As I wake, the sour taste in my mouth remains and I cannot pull myself to play the game. Opening Reddit warrants more hesitation, as I scroll through a plethora of memes revolving TSM and the rest of NA. I close Reddit, and open OP.GG to revisit my prior games and look at build paths. Upon studying, my eyes drift towards a Dota 2 AD. Shoulders relaxed, and head cocked I research a bit more. I download the game on Steam; however, I remain reluctant to launch. I visit YouTube and become lost in various documentaries such as: True Sight & Against all Odds. Over the next couple days, I find myself piecing together the history of the game and becoming familiar with iconic players. I spend numerous hours watching Dota Cinemas Hero spotlights. There I drew parallels between the Dota Heroes and League Champions. I rekindle emotions I have not felt in a decade of playing MOBAS. Upon numerous days of research, I finally launch Dota 2 and play position 1 Wraith King in the safe lane. I quickly glance over his abilities, head nodding the whole time, as if I would remember everything. All I can recall next is getting ganked around the 18-minute mark under my tower. I roll my eyes as I become stun locked and proceed to die. But then I become reanimated! Hands thrusting towards my mouse, I escaped to my tier 2 turret. I bellowed a contagious laugh; this game has become my saving grace! “Hold the GA”, I snickered to myself.