Categories: DiscussionValheim

Accidentally slaughtered all my boars last night being a filthy filthy cheater

Just need to get this off my chest and I don’t think r/offmychest would understand. I was showing a friend one of my outposts last night and had dev commands on so I could fly around. Hadn’t eaten anything, it was raining, and I was just living my best Viking purgatory life in creative mode and flying. Next think I know, the damn ground is shaking and 2 trolls are coming to smash my shit that I hadn’t even had a chance to rebuild the walls around.

In this outpost I have a nice view of the swamps over a bay, a carrot farm, and like a dozen 10th generation domesticated boars who love me very very much. And I have grown to love them too, after all this time.

I didn’t have the patience or the preparedness to deal with the trolly trolls. So I popped open the console, remembering that I had dev commands on, and typed killall. That’ll show em! I do not have time for this. I do not. Have time. For you!

Then I heard the pained cries of a family of boars. I looked down from my lofty flying vantage point to see my boar pen littered with leather and meat. And worst of all, a single boar trophy, taunting me and offering a permanent reminder of the collateral slaughter I had just carried out. The little pixel sparkles laughed at me, begging me to collect my bounty from the family of boars I had spent so much time domesticating, feeding, loving. Generations of boars have lived in that pen. The best boys and girls were intentionally hand selected to breed. They were happy. They were fat. They were stinky. They were now dead.

I was gutted. I now hate those trolls with a passion. I now hate myself. Is there a second level of purgatory I can banish myself to in order to atone for my sins? I deserve it.

RIP Squealy, Squeaky, Truffle, Tofu, Stinky, and Little Tusk. You and your family are missed. I tossed a bushel of carrots in the sea for you this morning at sunrise. I hope piggy heaven stinks as much as the foul smell from the swamps you loved so very much 😢

Be careful when using dev commands, fellow Vikings. You may rip out your own heart.

Gamer

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