4Game

I admit I get tilted quite a bit and quite quickly, but I don't shout at the mic unless I'm actually in deep shit. Like I'm a core and I'm 0/5 before 10 mins kind of deep shit. If it's just me getting first blooded, or just having a hard lane, most I'd do is pretty mucb just say everything's gonna be fine, or just slam my desk, or maybe just explain why the situation isn't good. Unfortunately, it was one of those deep shit games. It was one of those "wait, why tf am I being stupid and greedy right now when I need to play it safe, why are my hands moving differently." The straw broke when the 4 tells me off for not baiting so we could get a pick off (which imo, I was more guaranteed to die more than the other guy, but of course, opinions differ). To me, that move didn't make sense cause it was sacrificing an underfarmed 1 for a bad kill and a bad lane situation. Still went for it but it was "a bit late" and I still died so I blew up and told my teammate off for a small bit. Got muted by the team (at this point I didn't know yet). They were doing pickoffs and were talking about how space was being made. Haven't said much over the next few minutes (and wasn't tilted anymore since I was recovering a bit, so all was a bit better). Had about close to 4k gold at a point (probably around 17 minutes) and teammates were asking me if I was buying anything or tilting, to which I respond that I'm still figuring out what's better for the game, deciding on going on more of a farming route to have better late game security, especially since the enemy team were already having a significantly better mid game. Realized I was muted when they didn't hear me and were talking about I was tilted and throwing. Like wtf? I was way past tilted at that point and was actually glad that I was closer to my timings than I was when I was 0/5, 0/6, 0/7, etc. Idk what happened but they got so obsessed with the 1st mid tower they started taking bad 4v5s after bad 4v5s while I was trying to both farm and split since I was waiting for a better timing to actually start fighting. Apparently to them, I was deliberately throwing when in my perspective, it just wasn't a good time to fight, and forcing a teamfight over and over under 1st mid tower when your 1st mid tower is down won't get me to the fight on time since I didn't get a gap closer against a team that has zero disables. Of course I wanted to explain why my decisions were such, but I pretty much couldn't since I was muted. Everyone was talking shit about me throwing and tilting when to me, they were just forcing bad fights and no comms made it harder to react to what they were planning. To me it was "if I could've told you guys to stop taking teamfight after teamfight and play the map rather than obsess over a well-defended tower for 10 mins, we would have won this late game easily."

It's funny cause they keep talking about how they ALMOST win every teamfight without me. But in my head almost is just as bad as losing, especially since either way, you lost. Like the first time you lose a teamfight, you should be aware that there's something missing. You don't go to ALMOST win the next teamfight. You engage in the next teamfights when you think you're actually going to win.

My decisions in that game were also probably subpar, but the aspect of comms missing hurt the game the most imo. Some people just can't help blowing up after one thing then calm down afterward, happens to me every once in a while, and like a few minutes later, shit's gonna be back to normal and I'm just gonna be making quips and jokes over the next few minutes. I feel like people who just automute are just as toxic if not more.

I still think deliberately removing comms is toxic and throwing, unless the muted player is actually toxic and goes off for an entire game. But if you mute after just one event and start expecting your teammate to perform accordingly when you look like you're making bad decision after bad decision, then you're a lot more toxic than they are.

I'll be honest. I was more tilted with my teammates repeatedly calling me toxic the entire game than the time I was 0/5 before 10 minutes, especially since I actively avoid being toxic and think about what I'm going to say, unless of course the unfortunate moment happens that I let out a short burst of anger.