4Game

I'm not the most toxic player, I'm just a little bit toxic. I used to be extremely toxic the first time I played Dota, like trashtalking non-stop to allies and enemies and not focusing on the game at all, but have been able to control myself, so I'm a lot less toxic now. I never threw games, maybe just once my whole life (which I would never do again because it felt like shit), but I tip/trashtalk enemies whenever they make big mistakes, or say 1-2 insults to allies who trashtalk me (then mute them after). I feel good for a while, but after the game I feel like a shitty person, that I might hurt the people I trashtalk. I just want to be clean, to not be toxic at all, but it's just so hard to control myself. sometimes I can't believe myself, because irl I would never insult/say mean things to other people.

tldr; please help me stop being a little bit toxic, and maybe suggest thoughts or actions I can do to stop, so I don't feel so shitty about myself anymore?