4Game

Ok, so I get wet every 2 seconds. They need to remove the wetness debuff, if anything being wet should make you run faster! Maybe +100% to runspeed when wet. I run faster in the rain IRL.

The food doesn't last very long, when I eat breakfast I can go a long time without feeling hungry, so my big strong Viking should have their food last 8 hours or more IRL. Also I'd boost the health and stamina from all food by about 100.

The devs need to account for people like me who only have 1 hour (or less) to play a week. They need to add pre-fab houses so instead of actually placing EVERY. DAMN. BOARD. Manually. I want to have a "houses" section when I pull out the hammer and it just lets me plop down a pre-made house or even castle.

Also why do I have to spend all that time getting recipes? I should be able to make what I want when I want. Why are the devs forcing me to do things? I don't want to have a 2nd job!

The monsters are too hard. How can a mosquito get through my leather armor? It's crazy! I would make all enemies do at least half damage and they move around too much too. Make the monsters stand still so I can actually hit them with my bow.

Stats go up too slow. Increase the speed stats go up. I have been playing almost 2 hours and I'm not even close to maximum level on ANYTHING. Bullshit! I'm so angry.

Death is too punishing. You should be able to teleport to your body and your stats shouldn't be affected. Actually when you die your items should just be duplicated, so you have all your items on your corpse, but then you still have all your items on you. So if you want to go back and get the corpse you can have double your items.

Why do some building things take more than 1 of an item. Anything that needs wood should just take 1 wood. Anything that needs bronze should just need 1 bronze. Come on!

Sailing is too hard. WTF is with the wind? Just add a motor. You should be able to have a simple motor on your boat. I can buy a boat motor at Walmart for basically no money.

Which is another thing, there isn't even any lightbulbs or cars or things in the game. Or guns! Why are we using this old crap? It should be more like GTA. I want to have a grenade launcher and a fast car and rap music ingame. That would be way cooler.

Also where are the loot boxes? I want some awesome rare gear that I can get with money. I have a good job and if the devs fix all the MAJOR issues I mentioned I will totally drop $1000 on loot boxes.

^{Please note this post is 100% parody.}