Categories: DiscussionValheim

When It Rains It Pours – OR – How I learned to die with dignity

I've been doing my first totally blind playthrough of this game. There are a few small annoyances (wolf sounds, constant barrages of troll attacks, FUCKING Greydwarfs), but I've been really relishing this first playthrough.

Today I decided it was time to challenge Moder to battle, and that was the beginning of sorrows. While I really enjoyed the hunt for the sigil that would reveal the boss location, and even more the contemplative climb up the mountain with the eggs, Moder herself seemed relatively easy at first.

Learning my lesson from fighting Bonemass, I set up a portal base far from the actual boss spawn in a stone fortress and tried to keep the fight around her spawn location. Unfortunately, several stone golems wolves and fucking shit ass wyverns joined the fight, causing me to run that way when she was ~50% health. Naturally she caught sight of the 1% of the roof that had the crafting bench visible and nuked the whole site and the bed. She crawled around through the rubble and broke the chests and everything for good measure.

Beyond a shadow of a doubt the next part was my fault. I tried to dodge the crystal breath attack and instead of rolling, jumped, causing me to eat 200+ damage and died instantly.

I keep a bug-out box for these occasions with boat materials and lower tier armor/potions for this sort of thing. I took the box, sailed across back to the boss island, set up a portal which I then named incorrectly without noticing, and promptly died to the two stone golems I had been cursing at during the moder fight earlier.

I didn't bother setting up a bed, realized I must not have connected the emergency portal, and got a third boat with hardly any armor at all. I was then attacked by trolls at the main base. All I had left was an old shield and silver sword. Anyway, I had left my "drawbridge" down (RE: Flooring covering the moat) so I could carry my three eggs to the boat earlier, which the trolls used to breach the walls and kill all my wolves and pigs, break all my roofing, destroy the blacksmith shop, my cool garden rocks and everything in between, etc. etc. Naturally, I also died to them several times.

They finally fucked off, I sealed the shattered remnants of my base as best I could, sailed back, got killed by a sea serpent.

I got another boat. Made my way to the site of the boat death, recovered my pathetic remains, went back to Moder, fixed the portal, made a bed, then discovered to my utmost horror that my gravestone had simply not appeared at the battle location with Moder. It was just gone. This was clearly a bug, but a bug that occurred at the worst possible time and the absolute zenith of a terrible, awful, nightmare scenario of bad shit. Moder then killed me again. Luckily, my "Gods have mercy on you" buff had just expired so I had the great fortune of losing skill points for the fourth time in one day.

What did we learn today?

  1. don't jump when you're trying to not jump

  2. learn to spell correctly

I gotta admit this is a big blow to the morale of all the inhabitants of my fortress since all of them are dead forever (RIP Chief Beef and especially RIP Soup The Dog), but I will have you know with the help of a friend who had some good foods ready to go and the spirit to simply hide in a hole with whatever scavenged arrows I had left, Moder died doing what she loved, kicking my ass forever, stealing 100+ silver from me, and ruining days of progress.

Remember, Losing Is Fun.

Gamer

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