4Game

TL;DR “Old WoT player that tried to stop playing several times during a decade, finally succeeded thanks to the direct cancel account button on WG home page.”

Sorry for my English, not native speaker. I like reddit and reading others people experiences, so I decided to share my journey to cancel my second account in WorldOfTanks.

This post is not against Wargamming, by any means, and WoT is already my second -long time- MMO after World of Warcraft. I felt that there was a problem when I started uninstalling it and promised myself not to play again, and the next day -or a week after- wasn’t able to keep that resolution. Everything was an excuse, new graphic card, new patch, holidays, home-alone, etc…

I am an old guy (40-50) and have been gaming most of my life, I have grown up in several aspects of my life but not in the hook up of a new battle in World of Tanks. My mind has memories of amazing games of 8-16-32 bits era but they all had a beginning and an end. During some days-weeks I fully committed to gaming but they had a last stage and then moved on (never tried to replay games). Trying to finish a game for me was quite a challenge because only thought in playing with the minimum breaks between sessions (school-work, eat, shower, sleep). Really addicted.

Started playing WoT in 2011-2012, I don’t recall it correctly. Never going up Tier V and having fun in platoon with two more friends inside the original Stug III. I got hook up with the grinding of lines and remember myself waking up early on weekends to grind the old BL10 of ISU, in a wot age were premiums were underpowered compared to their counterparts in the different lines. Was a bad player, only 51% winrate but got some epic games that gave brain thirst for more.

One night, with congested eyes and a severe headache from too much gaming, i committed myself to stop playing WoT after 40K battles (I know, I know, those are rockie numbers). Next day I requested the cancelation of the account. It was a several step process, quite painful for a weak/addicted mind like mine: wait several days, confirm the cancelation and I think I needed to send the paypal log of transactions.

I was clean for one year or so, but then created a new account -don’t remember why-. Maybe was when I got a good job and a new battlestation, just to try! I though myself safe only reaching Tier V and focusing only in one tank (T67). But then got the chinese IS2, my WR rise up to 57% and we started again! I didn’t want to fall anew and sold all tanks and crews, because canceling the account had been painful the past time. But I made the mistake to not selling all crews and cancelling the account. Was clean until 2017 when I settled down (house, spouse, regular job without financial problems). Life was good, not spectacular, just a bit boring and my brain remembered some good times… With a new monster PC the game looked gorgeous.

Was premium user most of those years, but never had premium vehicles, until Christmas Operations and loot boxes came and was too much for me to handle. In Christmas ops 2018 I invested/wasted 40€, 2019 80€ and in 2020 120€. for me, along with the premium account and some gold purchases (battle pass, you know), was simply outrageous. Was not about the money -it is ok invest money in things that gives you good experiences- but wasn’t even able to stop playing from 8:00PM until 03:00AM indicates that I couldn’t control it. The next day headaches were massive and was wasting a time that would have been better spent with my family or other things more exciting for my personal development. I found myself even watching videos on mobile phone of Skill4ltu that made me rise to 7000WR, but I think that mostly for paid crews and overpowered vehicles bought with visa.

Tried to run away from WoT but I failed again. And this time my weakness to stop playing was becoming unbearable. I tried lending my graphics card to a friend, but this game runs on the integrated card! I even considered moving to mac, but the software needed for my work have some issues on MacOS. My brain was always planning how the next battle will be better: I wouldn't give away free HP, I would be more careful, I would use better vision control or my armor, and so on. All falsehood, next time I will neglect other more important things and get frustrated or with another headache. Don’t even want to calculate the number of hours invested/wasted on this game. In 10 years, with several gaming relapses, the game cost me 1000€, and doesn’t concern me too much. But what I haven't done to play WoT, yes, i do care about that and regret.

Knew that I had an issue with WoT and thought on creating a new support ticket to cancel de account. But I wasn’t strong enough, I wouldn’t pass the first reply from WG support staff asking if I was sure about cancelling the account. But then, the magic cancel button appeared on my private area! I pressed it and “just” had to wait 45 days (is logical because this can’t be undone). My T34-100, Leopard 1, STB-1 or Obj 264v4 were valuables to me, and they shouldn’t, but they were.

From the book The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business (Charles Duhigg) I knew that I needed to fill the time spent on WoT with something or will undo the cancel account process seriously damaging my self-respect. And I did it, first playing again ZELDA, a Link to the past and realizing who bad I am as a player. I got hooked again, thinking about the game and playing too much and i quit it cold turkey (Pyramid – Dark World).

Rowed back to reading and was lucky to find books that hooked me. Thinking, Fast and Slow written by Daniel Kahneman really got me and helped me to understand some of my (bad) decisions in WoT! Went back to sporting and felt in love with fountain pen writing. Today is a normal cold saturday and I should be gamming WoT (no other game gave me similar -continuous over the time- hook) but I am chilling studying about the heart electrocardiogram while taking some notes using some gorgeous TWSBI fountain pens. Better use my limited intelligence to memorize the muscarinic receptor antagonists than the best spotting spots in any WoT map.

What a journey it was. I am clean again and like an ex-alcoholic I know I will always be in danger and won’t get near anything similar to WoT again. I hope you are not asleep after so many boring words, but I needed to share my experience in the expectation that it would be of benefit to someone.