A fantasy of WoT

So, grinding World of Tanks daily (in order to get Chuck as a commander and earn as much credits as possible due to Holiday Ops bonuses) made me seriously question myself why I even play this game anymore. As I started listing the minuses of the game I realized that they heavily outweigh the pluses ( at least for me). +2 MM, shitty and unbalanced maps, horrible map rotation, artillery, bots, RNG mechanic and so on and so on.

I believe that the main reason I play this game is pure sunk cost fallacy. I play this game because I've spent on it far more money than on any of my hobbies and because I have premium account still running. I am waiting for the day it runs out and from then on intend to continue as F2P afficionado (skipped loot boxes this year). I hope that then I will not feel internal obligation to play because "mUh PrEmIuM tImE" as I do now and I will be able to play when I really want.

I often find myself playing WoT in my head. I imagine playing some kind of fantasy of WoT where my Primo Victoria does not get curbstomped by Chieftains, 279 (e)'s or any tier X tanks for that matter. Where I'm not clicked on constantly and I do not get Airfield x3 times in 4 hour playtime session while trying to mark ELC Even 90. Then I get hyped, I log on, I play couple of battles and I get back to reality. I mean, I am old enough to remember 2014 when I was a newbie and the game was somewhat more appealing to me.

Am I the only one to whom the idea of playing WoT is more attractive than the process of playing itself ?