Am I really just washed up?

I've not really survived a single good raid where I killed any decently leveled player with good gear in the last month. I've got 5.6k hours, 47% surv rate which is rapidly declining. After we hit the "endgame" I've gotten significantly less kills and died significantly more. Everytime I even touch the game I go in, die 3 or 4 times and end up rage quiting. I've been taking week long breaks all wipe long. Usually I get Kappa and hit upper level 60s. I haven't even hit level 40 this wipe. It just feels like everyone knows where I am, I am always in the wrong spot at the wrong time. Every raid I'm the most unlucky SOB to walk the land. Nothing makes sense. I feel like I know to much for my own good, such as all the bugs and current issues. Everything just stacks up to make the game feel horrible. I don't know what to do anymore.