Not focusing on quests can be a welcoming change

I have started playing Tarkov a few wipes ago and took a break shortly after. With .12, i have picked it up again and was purely focusing on doing quests.
Every raid was dedicated to getting progress or finishing quests. And i am LVL 30 now. With player progression, the price of loadouts increased and i developed gear fear. I became too cautious, anxious, i was literally shaking when playing, because i did not want to risk my gear and the quest progress. Every fight was a jump scare for me…
Yesterday, i have played with a friend and we just did raids purely to kill. I have actually told myself to engage in fights and "try to lose the gear".
I had the most fun in weeks! We did not survive all raids, but even when we died, i was happy with the firefights, killed at least one player and still called it a good raid.
Slap on some gear, try to play bold and self-confident and try to take firefights on your terms and dont feel obligated to always play objectives. It was eye-opening for me, maybe its for you, too!