A diamond fallen out of the race

I worked hard for diamond in the first competitive series, starting from nothing (as all of us did). I didn't have the desire to grind for predator.

I miss the non SBMM lobbies that casual playlist allowed. I could come home from work, get some kills, and call it a day. I only played ranked when I was very mentally fresh because of how concentrated everyone was. Casual was perfect for days I felt tired.

Now, after a few weeks away from Apex, I find myself matched against 1/2 the lobby with diamond and predator trails. I am running around a map that is too spread out, getting into my first gunfight of the match which is harder than ranked, then getting cleaned up by the squad on a hill 100m away.

I have lost hard countless games in casual hoping that eventually the SBMM will lower me, but it never does. I am not the diamond I used to be during the grinding days, and it's no longer a game I call fun. I can't bring myself to even start ranked again.

I'm not sure why I'm posting, maybe just to talk. Not really complaining, but sad it's no longer enjoyable. I suppose I'll lurk and maybe check the game out when Canyon is back. I hope you all keep finding the joy in the game.