Emergency Meeting of the Bored

I've gathered you here to discuss WOT's future.

The fact is, numbers are dropping. Consider that Fnite claims 2.5 million players/day vs. barely 20K for WOT's American server. Why? Our studies suggest it's because in Fnite its fun to play even if you lose. In WOT defeat sucks.

Alas, the outcomes of too many battles are decided in the first minute. The ratio of crappy battles to fun and competitive? Currently 50:1. Which is, not coincidentally, the exact ratio of obscene words in battle chat to EVERY OTHER WORD IN ALL LANGUAGES!

My questions: what can WOT do to make losing more fun? Make battles last longer? Make gameplay more exciting? Renew flagging interest in our game? Ensure WOT's future.

Consider these stats. Currently, 80% of all battles on the SA server are only bot v. bot. 87% of WOT players report that they require serotonin reuptake inhibitors, strong cannabinoids or large infusions of alcohol to play, most of those needing all three at the same time. 78% of all new WOT players are actually under the age of eight.

Some current suggestions from our players

1. Require an IQ test to ensure it's at least as high as the tier that players are playing.
2. Get rid of those god awful tiny maps.
3. Seize control and reverse the direction of heavy tanks that try to go up the hill at Himmelsdorf.
4. Admit finally that Paris is Gay Paree
5. All players who don't even last a minute are sent back to T1 until a girlfriend will attest that they can last at least five minutes. This, of course, only relates to male players.
6. Good players play good, bad play bad. I know, I know, this makes way too much sense.
7. Play for pink slips.
8. Make WOT map designers, programmers, board, and staff actually play the game. (No more Fnite tourneys at work anymore comrades!)

Any and all suggestions will be given due consideration. We thank you in advance for your feedback. SAVE WOT!