Being a new player mid wipe is awful

I really tried, I did my homework, I spent hours watching videos and learning things, I played offline to learn recoil, I learned where are stahses and whats worth to hunt for etc. I learned two maps in and out, I really did put in effort to understand the game and give msyelf the best chance I can get at being somewhat sucessfull.

But I cant do this anymore, 2 months in playing tarkov devolved for me into either pistol suicide runs or crawling for 30 minutes. PVP is absolutley out of the question at this point, I still dont have access to high pen ammo being lvl 12, chads are putting me down even if I start from favourable position, wich usually was a 20 minutes worth of sneaking to obtain, just for a high level to take shots turn aorund and delete me. I cant even have fun with scavs because chads are at this point exclusively looking for PVP and flock towards gunshots, so its best for me to not even shot a single bullet, in an FPS game no less. As a scav I cant have fun either because of the bad rep and because I dont want to be a dick in general.

The only PMCs I ever killed were either poor souls like me or didnt have amror good enough to survive ambush, not that I got to haul my loot out of the map more often than 2/10 times because after initial gunshots usually there are chads closing in.

Once I realised that my most efficient way of playing tarkov is avoiding any combat and tediously collect all these trinkets and do tedious quests I stopped and asked myself a question, why am I playing an FPS game where I cant dream to have any proper PVP combat, at least not before months of tedium?

I get that its all immersion and all but…. its a pvp fps at the end of the day no? Im sick of looting rooms and running away, god let me have a normal fair pvp so I can marvel at the gunplay of this game for once.

Its even worse when chad teams enter the game, I am not so lucky, I cant get a single friend to play with me, they either reead up on tarkov and refuse or hear that there is no map and refuse straight away.

I think I will move on to something esle and maybe combeack for next wipe…. I love about everything in this game but… its just not fun for a new player mid wipe.