Switching from pos5 to pos1: I will become the Hard Carry my teammates never become for me.

It usually takes me less than 1 minute to notice if my Carry is a frustrated Supportplayer or not.

Very often, if my Carry picks Void, Phantom Assassin, Jugger for Carry, he is 100% a support in a 3 game losing streak.

From this day and until the day I'm alive, I will never play position 5 again.

Pos 1 is my calling.

I won't be there for you.

I won't pressure the enemy pos 4 @ 1:30 so that I'm able to stack, I'll hit creeps

I won't smoke us in base, put up nice wards before enemies arrive, I'll be afk till the waves meet and tp to lane

I will ping tangoes, even if I have 4 left

I will TP to mid to farm there, when my mid is ganking, f**k his farm

I will ping my support minute 6:00 to buy me ward and salve

I will use gates to farm enemy jungle, when they hit tier 3 towers minute 20

I will farm stacked ancients from my Bristle/Sven/Tide/Axe

If you are chainstunned, I will watch u die and chat 'N00B L2P'

I will be trading my life for nothing, but your's for sure, even for a lasthit

I will tell you to go to the wisdom rune, and die solo on lane and then proceed screaming in voice chat 'Where Support??'

I will eat lotuses even full HP/Mana

If the lane doesn't go well, I will blame you, not my terrible last hitting Skills or my incompetent lane equlibrium-techniques

I will buy Midas Battlefury every game

I will be playing jungle for 40 Minutes

I will call out my supports for everything that goes wrong and ping you when you die

I won't be there for you

If you throw games, I will report you again and leave you comments on your steam profile

I will take my frustrations into the next game and punish you for something my previous teammate did

Alone I will be carrying my Baboon Teammates!