After years and years of rage quitting, blaming the rng and bad luck for my performance, I finally let go of my ego and just admitted to myself that I’m a shit player.
I stopped raging in chat and looking for excuses as to why I died after making a terrible play.
I managed to get consistent unicum stats after every session of around 20+ games.
Felt amazing and really proud of myself until today, where I was really excited to jump back in with my fresh mindset and come out with some amazing stats again.
Played 15 games in the Tier 7 leo and could barely get green stats.
It just reminded me that in reality I’m just garbage. I was probably just getting lucky with bad enemy teams.
I have tried everything. I’ve watched countless youtube videos by professional players, mirrored their playstyles after observing livestreams, hell, I even got some private tutoring from Kajzoo.
But it’s no good. I genuinely tried so incredibly hard to improve but it feels like I’m hitting my head against a brick wall.
I didn’t even rage at my garbage performance. I just kind of shut down a little and got really depressed and upset at myself.
I’ve been trying to get good for years, but I genuinely think I’m just a lost cause.
How do the super unicum players do it? How do they perform so well, and so consistent?
Long story short, I genuinely believe I’ll never get to where I want to be. And for once I’ll let go of my ego and anger, it’s not the games fault, it’s because I’m trash at it and I’m not good enough.
