T-55A td-15 rant

So I'll be straight up and say this is just a rant, I already know that most replies will be something akin to skill issue, and I accept that, but I just want to say it.

I've been grinding these missions a long time now, and for about a year I've been inching, crawling closer and closer to getting it done. I did ht-15 no problem, mt-15 was annoying but I finally did it with honours, lt-15 I managed to complete recently as I'm not that good at lights, but it's done, and I refuse to play arty so I used orders, but I swear I just can't get the darn td-15 done despite being so close 2 or 3 times.

I play aggressively I must admit, that's why I prefer mediums or heavies usually, but it's not like I hate tds. I currently have just 1 tier 10 td, the object 268 V4, and I think I play it well enough (1 moe, 1500 average wn8 which is about my recent average), I think it's not only the perfect tank for me, but also in general since 15-5 lightning games are so common currently and I remember being close twice to done if not more.

Last time was rather recently, a perfect tier 8 game on ruinberg, I got to be non stop aggressive, we wiped the floor with the enemy team… And at the very end I was stupid and overconfident. I decided to stand in front of the tier 9 Chinese td, waiting to reload… And he reloaded faster. I was so mad despite getting an ace. (Only needed 1 more shot)

More recently I've been struggling to get even good games. As of the latest patch getting 2k is a struggle, and I haven't crossed 4k. My frustration just keeps building because I just want the damn tank and can't do it, no matter what I do it's not working. I've even been considering grinding the minotauro because maybe I'm just secretly a massive tomato that can't get anything done even in a tank that guides your hand the whole time, or perhaps grinding the previous campaigns to get full honours to skip it too.

If someone has tips other than git gud I would appreciate it because I feel I'm at my wits end. Thanks for wasting your time to read this.

Ps, recently I took a bit of a break from trying as I just got the cobra and that's been quite fun, but I do plan on going back to try again soon.